What It Means to Be a New Yorker

A while back I got an e-mail about New Yorkers, and one of the things in it was a list of the things you understand if you’re a New Yorker:

• There is no ‘north’ and ‘south’. It’s ‘uptown’ or ‘downtown’.  If you’re really from New York, you have absolutely no concept of where ‘north’ and ‘south’ are…and ‘east’ or ‘west’ is ‘crosstown.’
• You know how to make an egg cream.
• You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.
• You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.
• You know what a ‘regular’ coffee is.
• It’s not Manhattan…it’s the ‘City.’
• You cross the street anywhere but on the corners and you yell at cars for not respecting your right to do it.
• You move 3,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and people still know you’re from Brooklyn, Long Island, or the Bronx, the minute you open your mouth.
• You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a ‘real’ pizza from Deninos of Joe & Pats and a ‘real’ bagel.
• A 500 square foot apartment is large.
• You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually understand a P.A. announcement on the subway.
• You wouldn’t bother ordering pizza in any other city.
• You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the major food groups which are Chinese, Italian, Mexican, and Indian.
• You’re not the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
• Your internal clock is permanently set to know when alternate side of the street parking regulations are in effect.
• You know what a bodega is.
• Someone bumps into you and you check for your wallet.
• You don’t even notice the lady walking down the road having a perfectly normal conversation with herself.
• You pay ‘only’ $230 a month to park your car.
• You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas.
• The Presidential visit is a major traffic jam, not an honor.
• You can nap on the subway and never miss your stop.
• The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it’s a beer.
• That’s New York, Baby! Ya gotta love it!!!!!!!!

That pretty much sums it up…

Feel free to leave a comment, and please come back – I write and post often!  And if you like what I have to say and how I say it, you’ll probably enjoy my novels as well.  They’re listed below, and you can read more about them on my improved website, designed and built by my son Don, http://www.randolphmase.com.  On my site, you’ll also find excerpts of my books that you can read – please check it out!

Randolph Mase, Fiction Writer

https://www.amazon.com/author/randolphmase

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My Novels:

Death on Broadway

Death Beneath the Streets

Death in Central Park

Death at The Cloisters

Death Inside Diamond Head

Death Under Jones Beach (now available!)

Nathan Hale

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